Letters

Dear Tadpole,

Please note that the correct procedure is as follows:
- locate potty
- THEN drop pants onto floor.
Shuffling about with your panties rolled around your ankles, yelling "Potty, where are you?" isn't the correct procedure. Especially when mommy panicks and runs for the potty and slips in a puddle of woopstoolate.

You loving, but wet, Mommy


Dear translators,

No. A hose is un tuyau d'arrosage. Not boyau. Boyau means bowel. This is a faucet for a garden hose, not a faucet for bowels. Thank you.

La rainette


Dear Cat,

Lose me all the messages on the answering machine again and it's no more tuna fish for a decade. I hope this is clear.

Your mommy owner


Dear rainette,

please leave this computer ASAP, or I will help you do it and it might involve a hammer. This is the week-end, which you are herewith ordered to spend with your family.

Husband.

woops. Am off.