Mother's Day

[la_rainette]

I got breakfast in bed, and my husband made me coffee. No, hang on, that isn't quite enough. My. Husband. Made. Me. Coffee. There. That's more like it.

This is a man who passionately hates coffee. Who has made it abundantly clear that he'd rather kiss the cat than me right after I've had my thirteenth cup (will kiss me nevertheless, and has never actually attempted to kiss the cat, to be truthful). This is the chocaholic who once, his chin wobbling with disappointment, handed me his mousse au chocolat because he claimed "there was a hint of coffee in it" (I believed him although I didn't notice it myself, because there was no other way to explain why husband would refuse to eat an outstanding mousse au chocolat in one of the most highly acclaimed haute cuisine restaurants in France).

So. He made me coffe. Good coffee. Cappuccino, actually, with frothed milk and cocoa on top.

He also made croissants - of the frozen kind alas, but the surprise was nice. He'd hidden them the night before in the oven, to let them rise, so they were lovely and plump and golden and smelled wonderful. They were also, sadly, full of air and deflated in an oddly depressing way when I sank my teeth into them. A bit like biting into a hot air balloon, really.

So. On Mother's Day, I had a pretty nice breakfast in bed. Quiet and leisurely are still missing from the equation, because froglet is genetically incapable of sitting still on a bed, and started bouncing on the mattress right away, and tadpole will do whatever her sister does, but a bit less deftly, so I had to hurry and drink my cappuccino fast before a plum, diapered butt landed on it, and of course the inflatable croissants kept deflating on me, but it was, generally speaking, a nice breakfast. In bed.

It would have been even nicer if I hadn't been expected to clean the crumbs from the bed afterwards. Or if at least I'd been told I was expected to do that. Because, Ay! Caramba!, Sleeping with Crumbs is not my idea of Fun in Bed.

Comments

Something I miss...

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

I do so miss having coffee in bed. For all her meanness, deviousness and insincerity, she did bring me a cup of coffee every single morning during the years we were together... except on the days like Mother's Day or her birthday when I did the honorable thing and reversed the situation. I miss other things too... but in case you are wondering, I don't miss her at all. I haven't really gone into any details on the trials and tribulations of my failed marriage in my LJ because its part of my past (albeit very recent). But, to give you a brief summary:

in 1997, after college, I got a job in London with a big Accounting firm. Made some more good friends there. Hated the job and did not do so well with the studies to get my CPA. I quit it in late 1999. About the same time I was quite heavily into chatting online and decided to go and meet a lady from the small town of Gadsden, Alabama who I got along great with before I started applying for new jobs. Well, wouldn't you know it, we fell in love (despite her being 11 years my senior, her being unemployed, married three times before and having 3 children). There is no better example of the blindness of love.

Anyway, I went back to the UK and got as much as I could fit into a suitcase and returned to Alabama two weeks later. We were married five days later in Feb 2000.

After some financial struggles and a three month separation in 2001 we got back together and were happily(?) married for three and a half years. My ex-wife was a dreamer and refused to get a job to help support the family. She would rather spend 15 hours a day chatting with her online friends. I suppose it was only a matter of time before she found another man. Well, she did. Cheated on me with another Englishman she found online (oh the irony!) without me even knowing and then kicked me out and filed for divorce. I got the house and my car but little else but a lot of grief.

There... ok..that was a bit wierd... having never posted about this in my own journal, I just put the story of my marriage in yours... alebit in a pretty unpublic long ago post. Anyway... what do I miss? I miss companionship, the friendship, having someone to love, someone to be the subject of my affection and someone to spoil. I also miss being loved (though I often wonder if I ever truly was).

Hmmm.... I kind of got off topic from the original comment I was going to make. I think I was just a bit surprised by your cynicism towards the actuality of the lovely gesture. Don't take these things for granted :o)

Re: Something I miss...

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

I think I was just a bit surprised by your cynicism towards the actuality of the lovely gesture. Don't take these things for granted :o)

:) I don't, really. But, see, this is my limitation: I am not good with expressing feelings (and I was deeply touched by the gesture, really) without making fun of something. In quite the same way that I have left this comment for last, because I am very moved by your story, so I do not know how to answer.

happily(?) married Only you can determine that. I know it didn't end well, but ending badly doesn't necessarily mean that the whole thing was bad, even though it does taint the time spend together. Maybe she just couldn't love anyone for a long time. Maybe she can't cope with routine. She may not be suited to being a long-term companion, some people just aren't. It doesn't mean that she didn't love you. But maybe she just couldn't love you - or anyone - for a long time. (And I could be totally wrong, of course, since I don't know her at all; and I don't want to hurt you with what I am saying. See how uncomfortable I am right now? I sound like an angsty teenager.)

Anyways, thank you for telling me.

Re: Something I miss...

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

Don't feel uncomfortable. I have no problem talking about any of this stuff or hearing other peoples opinions. One of the reasons I went through with the divorce so easily was because friends at work were very honest with me with their opinions... not what I wanted to hear at the outset but they made sense. I think the reason I never shared any of this on my journal was because, until now, there were no married people reading it that I knew of... and to those who have not been married my recounting would look more like a self-pity drive.

Anyway, I have no doubt that I was "loved" for some of the marriage. For sure she is not suited to being a long-term companion (see previous three marriages). I also think that cheating online was not morally wrong to her... and then it all just got too exciting to stop the ball once it was rolling towards real life meetings and affairs. I suspect there was other cheating during the marriage but without hard evidence there was no real point in stressing about it, for she would just deny everything anyway. I didn't go snooping for evidence either... in many ways I was just comfortably trundling along in a "routine". I'm very trusting and even after having been betrayed (probably repeatedly) my heart is still proudly worn on my sleeve. It may seem naive and certainly makes for more hurt... but my philosophy is that if there is no trust then there is no relationship to be had.

I appreciate your views... and I really don't mind answering other questions if you have any.

Re: Something I miss...

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

*nods* There is something about marriage. I mean, it's not the roller-coaster of being in love, and will she/he call or not, and what did he/she think of this and that, and the whole excitment of continuously being thinking about each other and seeking each other's approval. And if this is what you are actually looking for, you should'nt get married, because it's not likely to work. *shrugs* From what you say, it seems like your ex-wife got bored. I know someone like that: she's dumped her first husband for another guy and is now in the process of reproducing the whole thing with yet another man. It seems like the main drive to her behavior is boredom. And, to be absolutely honest, I believe she is mainly bored to death with herself.

In marriage, you kind of need to have internal resources too, and to like yourself, because let's face it: no-one is perfect. You have to accept and live with your partner's faults, and you also have to accept that your partner knows about your own faults. It's always been the toughest thing for me. I've never expected my patners to be perfect, but there things about me that I would like to keep to myself ;) , and alas, in the course of life together, it isn't possible.

Well. Talking about rambling. :D

No, no, no, don't change! :D I agree with you on the trust issue. I don't think you're naive, I think you have a very good attitude. If you're careful all the time and never trust anyone you may not get hurt. But you'll miss out on many things, too. My philosophy is that most people are decent - well, everyone who doesn't set off all my alarms signals at once is basically a good person unless proven otherwise, is my attitude. :)