la_rainette | I am old

I do not find Orlando Bloom attractive. I find Hugh Jackman unbelievably attractive, though, but only since I have realised that he looks a lot like young Clint Eastwood. I suspect I may be salivating on what he will become when he grows up.

I cannot send a text message to save my life. Even my MOM sends text messages all over. That makes her Young At Heart. I can't, therefore I am old.

I need glasses to read. I also need glasses to recognize my own reflection in the mirror, mind you. Hm. I guess that since it's the same pair of glasses, or as it were, contacts, that makes me short-sighted.

But my contacts are hopelessly, boringly tranparent. Not violet. Not emerald green. That makes me old.

I am so unfamiliar with the new young heart-throbs of this generation that I confuse their names with brands of cereals (thank you

colubra for taking time to explain certain facts of cereal life to me)

And I am sure I had at least one more item to add to that list, but my brain appears to have misplaced it. Senility, here I come.

I am thus much too old to have kids that young or that active. Please provide replacement for right eye, both kneecaps, one faulty back and one brain ASAP. Thank you.

ETA: ah yes. When I refer to Star Wars, I mean episodes 4, 5 and 6. Really old.
And please also provide one new left arm, as current left arm has too often been used for Tadpole transportation and doesn't quite match the right arm in length anymore (oook).