How not to make fresh croissants
Jun. 8th, 2004 01:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_rainetteI am The Queen of Desserts. Really. I swear. I make sensational nougat glacé, lemon meringue pie to die for, utterly decadent tarte au chocolat.
But hey! No one ever said I could make breakfast, right?
So. Among the things you Should Not Do when trying to make croissants from scratch:
Do not attempt to do in 12 hours what should be done in 48.
Do not attempt to roll out croissant dough if room temperature exceeds 22 degrees - in fact I would sugget you don't even think about making croissants in the summertime unless you have extra strong air conditioning. Butter in dough will adhere to table; rest of dough will contract like an irritated snail's eye. Tadpole will have a field day scraping the butter from the table and discreetly eating it, then will wipe her fingers on your pants while you can't even defend yourself because your hands are full of butter too.
Remember that croissants must be left outside the fridge to rise during one hour an a half prior to baking. This is of crucial importance, especially if croissants are meant for Husband and Husband has an important meeting downtown at 8 am. Are you sure you want to get up at 5 am to make sure Husband has fresh croissants before going to work? He'll have to gobble them down in 30 seconds flat anyway.
Right. So now you've bungled things up completely, what is left to do? Well, cry on Husband's shoulder. He might feel so sorry for you, and so touched by your endeavours, that he will leave extra early and bring back fresh croissants made by professional who knows what he's doing before going to work.
So that leaves me with a full stomach, and a mishappen ball of dough unhappily waiting in the fridge and cringing in anticipation because I just might hit it with a rolling pin again. And this newly acquired piece of knowledge: Frozen Croissants are Good For You.
But hey! No one ever said I could make breakfast, right?
So. Among the things you Should Not Do when trying to make croissants from scratch:
Do not attempt to do in 12 hours what should be done in 48.
Do not attempt to roll out croissant dough if room temperature exceeds 22 degrees - in fact I would sugget you don't even think about making croissants in the summertime unless you have extra strong air conditioning. Butter in dough will adhere to table; rest of dough will contract like an irritated snail's eye. Tadpole will have a field day scraping the butter from the table and discreetly eating it, then will wipe her fingers on your pants while you can't even defend yourself because your hands are full of butter too.
Remember that croissants must be left outside the fridge to rise during one hour an a half prior to baking. This is of crucial importance, especially if croissants are meant for Husband and Husband has an important meeting downtown at 8 am. Are you sure you want to get up at 5 am to make sure Husband has fresh croissants before going to work? He'll have to gobble them down in 30 seconds flat anyway.
Right. So now you've bungled things up completely, what is left to do? Well, cry on Husband's shoulder. He might feel so sorry for you, and so touched by your endeavours, that he will leave extra early and bring back fresh croissants made by professional who knows what he's doing before going to work.
So that leaves me with a full stomach, and a mishappen ball of dough unhappily waiting in the fridge and cringing in anticipation because I just might hit it with a rolling pin again. And this newly acquired piece of knowledge: Frozen Croissants are Good For You.
