Land of the Braves

[la_rainette]

I am a self-confessed coward with occasional hints of great courage, where I all of a sudden do exceptional things. No, really. Sometimes I even have to pay for them.

For instance, I once jumped from a plane, without a parachute. Although in all fairness I should add that I had a guy strapped onto my back, and he was wearing a parachute, and he knew what he was doing. But you can't imagine the stress of having to be extra-nice to him (lest he feel tempted to unstrap me in midair), but not too nice because his overdone girlfriend kept circling me and flashing her extra-long, blood-red, exquisitely manicured claws as if I was about to run away with her best lipstick.

I also swam with sharks. Again, I have to admit I took some precautions. I waited until the youngest, plumpest members of our groups had gone in before carefully entering the waters, thinking that if the sharks hadn't eaten them, they wouldn't be interested in me.

But oh, the horror I faced today! The danger! Hidden behind the cut, so as not to make you faint.

I got the hiccups at the dentist's. 'Nuff said.

Also, I wish Tadpole would realize that she is a girl and thus comes unequipped with any aiming device. I wish she wouldn't gasp delightedly and stand up while peeing, thus spraying Papy's shoes. And I wish I could keep my big mouth shut, because yelling "SIT DOWN, TADPOLE" only startled her into abruptly plunking her plump bum onto the potty again, and dunking the back of her dress in the process. *sighs tiredly*

Comments

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

You swim with sharks, but you do not like phones. *Is amused*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

*bursts out laughing* I hadn't looked at it that way. Itis funny, when you think about it.

Or maybe it's just because I am not fully civilised. ;o)

Also, my clever book said that type of shark was not dangerous unless provoked. I just assumed the sharks had read the book :D

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

Whereas phones are dangerous even when not provoked; I unwisely answered mine yesterday and some guy wanted to survey me about my opinions of soft drinks for 20 solid minutes. He was very disconcerted to find that I drink mostly water, but gamely kept trying: "If you did drink Mello Yello and Sprite, which one would you like better?" "I DON'T KNOW! THEY ALL TASTE LIKE BATTERY ACID!"

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

LOL! Yes, that's very true. See, one more proof if needed that sharks are actually less dangerous than phones *is immensely pleased to now have good reasons to flee before phone*

Phone companies are the worst, though. Mine once called me, to know whether I would like to be their client, and which company I was currently using. Yours, I replied. Nitwit, I thought. Oh, he said. Thank you, he added uncertainly (though I'm pretty sure I never said "nitwit" aloud). Then hung up, leaving me slightly preocupied with the state of the world...