There's a spider on my ceiling...

[la_rainette]

OK, OK, OK, what do I do now? Froglet asked me yesterday to get the spider out, but this... this... monster isn't your everyday itsy bitsy spider that climbs out the water spout.

It's a BIG, FAT spider that didn't get spring rolled tight enough by husband. It must have climbed out of the tent when we unfolded it to clean it and let it bloody dry. It looks annoyed, too. Kind of "what am I doing in this here house? Where did the woods go to? Where are all the big fat mosquitos?"

Ew ew ew EW!

I'm sure it bites, too.

ETA: *giggles wildly* God, I love you guys! *wipes tears from eyes*
Oh my, but that was funny. Hole in the ceiling and all. You made my day, dear friends.
*hands Sir Gareth a bucket full of plaster and a little trowel* There. Let's see if you wield this one as well as you wield your sword.

I am glad to confirm that the spider is indeed a stowaway, a survivor from the camping vacation. I don't think I could handle armies of great big hairy spiders.

Comments

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

Spiders are the husband's job. That's very clear in our house. Not the little bitty ones, but definitely the big ugly hairy ones. Didn't you have that put into the pre-nup?

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Oh, I did, I did *nods*

He says he wants to teach me to "overcome my fears", I you believe that.

Besides, he's gone to work. *grumble grumble* I asked him to do it yesterday night (Once I'd spotted the beast, I knew I coudn't handle it myself), annd he "forgot". *grumble grumble*

Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

*browses medieval weapon rack and selects a medium sized mace*

...

*apologizes for making a large hole in your ceiling and offers to pay the insurance deductible*

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

apologizes for making a large hole in your ceiling...

...through which the big freaking AVENGING SPIDERS OF DOOM are now marching in military formation.

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

I thought the spider was a tough tarp-hanger-on from the camping trip? Please don't tell rainette that her attic is full of hairy arachnids... she will lose it. Nevertheless... I'm a pretty good shot with my longbow... I'm standing guard at the hole with an arrow strung.

It's a bit like skeet shooting: PULL!
*spider drops from ceiling on a thread*
*lets fly with an arrow... which ricochets off the ceiling and takes out a lamp shade*
*guiltily puts the bow and arrow away and takes up the mace again*

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[http://users.livejournal.com/_skye_/]

*walks in, hands over RAID SPIDER-GONE bugspray, ("$2.50") takes mace, shakes head and mutters "...knights!..." and walks out.*

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

Thank you... *reimburses in groats* This thread was starting to get a little too RPG for my liking anyway... it's never good when your comments have more actions in them than normal statements. Right?

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[http://users.livejournal.com/_skye_/]

Well, that all depends. MY first thought about how to respond to you involved a lot of Monty Python quotage, so I'm not sure which is worse (silly Ka-nigit!)

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

Amusingly enough, I was tending my nice, not too expensive, shrubbery when I received your reply.

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! [cue cow hurling]

Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands. [cue icon]

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[http://users.livejournal.com/_skye_/]

Nice one!

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[dramawench.livejournal.com]

BWAHAAHAHAHHAAHA!
*adores you*

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

While I'm on a roll, from my favorite scene ever (I can't beleive you got me started):

BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #1: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
VILLAGER #1: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[http://users.livejournal.com/_skye_/]

Oh, my dear knight...come over to my Live Journal and browse the comments, where my friends and I can turn almost any subject into an exuse to quote! My sister and I most recently made up t-shirts on the 'coconut/swallow' theme for a team we are on. /self-pimping, sorry la_rainette

Re: Never fear, the helpful knight is here

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Oh, pimp away, pimp away! :D I think you guys should friend each other, actually. You'd have a lot of fun (and me too, since I'm reading your LJs)

[nebzero.livejournal.com]

oh thank you, thank you, thank you for this journal... i love reading your daily adventures!...

i think i stumbled here from metaquotes one day... i've been checking quite frequently ever since...

i hate spiders, they make my skin all crawly...

mind if i add you so my friends page will alert me of new happenings?... please?...

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D But of course! I'm glad you like the journal.