I Am Not Canadian
Sep. 15th, 2004 10:53 amNot only am I not a beer drinker, I also forget about major events.
Husband came back from work yesterday, grabbed the remote, plonked down on the couch in the living-room and turned on the TV. And channel-hopped until he found Hockey.
Hockey?
la rainette: What are you doing?
Husband: Hockey.
la rainette: ?
Husband *slightly impatient*: Canada is playing against Finland.
la rainette *totally unconcerned, but polite*: Oh, and why is it so important?
Husband's unhinged jaw hit the floor, but his eyes never once left the screen. He managed to convey total disbelieving disapointment with his un-Canadian wife without once looking at me.
Husband: World. Cup. Final.
As in, howzat, nitwit.
Husband: In TORONTO.
As in, I know you're not that interested, but hey, that's local and national news all rolled in one, and how you could have missed that is beyond me.
la rainette: Oh! ALLEZ LES BLEUS! (go, blue team. Because in soccer word cups France is traditionally in blue)
Husband: We're the RED TEAM.
la rainette *giggles*
Husband *glares, but still in general direction of the TV, so is good.*
la rainette: And how long is the game going to be? (translated: when are we going back to our lives, because this is boring my socks off)
Husband: it's the second part.
la rainette: oh, we're almost done then.
Husband: THERE ARE 3 PARTS IN A HOCKEY GAME.
la rainette: Oh. bugger
Husband: ...
la rainette: ...
Husband: ...
la rainette: How long is each part?
Husband: 20 minutes.
la rainette: Oh, good. So that's one hour altogether.
Husband *shakes head* about three hours.
la rainette: ?
Husband: commercial breaks, and then all the many time they hit each other on the head and they are sent out, scream at the referee, or have to gather their guts before they are carried off the ice on a stretcher...
la rainette: Ah. *makes note never to let the girls play hockey*
la rainette *tries to follow the game, nearly falls asleep, grabs a book*: tell me when it's finished, then.
Husband: YES! WE WON!
la rainette *startled, drops book*: What did we win? Oh, right! Yay! *yawns*
Husband: OH, LOOK!
la rainette: What?
Husband: The world cup is made out of crystal. And they're giving it to Hockey players? I mean, Hockey players? They should use something more solid, like metal.
la rainette: Or transparent bouncy plastic.
Husband *glares*
la rainette *giggles*
Husband: What if they fall on the ice and break it.
la rainette *puts book aside and intently watches hockey players as they do not drop the cup. Pity, that would have made interesting headlines*
You know, soccer has at least one big advantage over hockey as far as I'm concerned.
The world cup is only once every four years.
Husband came back from work yesterday, grabbed the remote, plonked down on the couch in the living-room and turned on the TV. And channel-hopped until he found Hockey.
Hockey?
la rainette: What are you doing?
Husband: Hockey.
la rainette: ?
Husband *slightly impatient*: Canada is playing against Finland.
la rainette *totally unconcerned, but polite*: Oh, and why is it so important?
Husband's unhinged jaw hit the floor, but his eyes never once left the screen. He managed to convey total disbelieving disapointment with his un-Canadian wife without once looking at me.
Husband: World. Cup. Final.
As in, howzat, nitwit.
Husband: In TORONTO.
As in, I know you're not that interested, but hey, that's local and national news all rolled in one, and how you could have missed that is beyond me.
la rainette: Oh! ALLEZ LES BLEUS! (go, blue team. Because in soccer word cups France is traditionally in blue)
Husband: We're the RED TEAM.
la rainette *giggles*
Husband *glares, but still in general direction of the TV, so is good.*
la rainette: And how long is the game going to be? (translated: when are we going back to our lives, because this is boring my socks off)
Husband: it's the second part.
la rainette: oh, we're almost done then.
Husband: THERE ARE 3 PARTS IN A HOCKEY GAME.
la rainette: Oh. bugger
Husband: ...
la rainette: ...
Husband: ...
la rainette: How long is each part?
Husband: 20 minutes.
la rainette: Oh, good. So that's one hour altogether.
Husband *shakes head* about three hours.
la rainette: ?
Husband: commercial breaks, and then all the many time they hit each other on the head and they are sent out, scream at the referee, or have to gather their guts before they are carried off the ice on a stretcher...
la rainette: Ah. *makes note never to let the girls play hockey*
la rainette *tries to follow the game, nearly falls asleep, grabs a book*: tell me when it's finished, then.
Husband: YES! WE WON!
la rainette *startled, drops book*: What did we win? Oh, right! Yay! *yawns*
Husband: OH, LOOK!
la rainette: What?
Husband: The world cup is made out of crystal. And they're giving it to Hockey players? I mean, Hockey players? They should use something more solid, like metal.
la rainette: Or transparent bouncy plastic.
Husband *glares*
la rainette *giggles*
Husband: What if they fall on the ice and break it.
la rainette *puts book aside and intently watches hockey players as they do not drop the cup. Pity, that would have made interesting headlines*
You know, soccer has at least one big advantage over hockey as far as I'm concerned.
The world cup is only once every four years.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 03:28 pm (UTC)I am *amazed* that Hockey can last 3 hours when it is 3 lots of 20 minutes. Football barely gets 2 hours out of a 90 minute game. Scheduling it for TV must be a nightmare!
I'd offer my sympathies, but I have a tendancy to be similar if there's an important football game on. *laughs*
no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 01:10 am (UTC)Just so you know, at least in the US, women's ice hockey doesn't allow checking. And at least when I played all the girls were required to where face covering masks and mouth guards. Between these two factors the games always finished sooner than the boys and with significantly less bloodshed. So, if your girls decide they must play hockey, they'll have all their teeth when they're done.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:49 pm (UTC)