Land of the Braves

I am a self-confessed coward with occasional hints of great courage, where I all of a sudden do exceptional things. No, really. Sometimes I even have to pay for them.

For instance, I once jumped from a plane, without a parachute. Although in all fairness I should add that I had a guy strapped onto my back, and he was wearing a parachute, and he knew what he was doing. But you can't imagine the stress of having to be extra-nice to him (lest he feel tempted to unstrap me in midair), but not too nice because his overdone girlfriend kept circling me and flashing her extra-long, blood-red, exquisitely manicured claws as if I was about to run away with her best lipstick.

I also swam with sharks. Again, I have to admit I took some precautions. I waited until the youngest, plumpest members of our groups had gone in before carefully entering the waters, thinking that if the sharks hadn't eaten them, they wouldn't be interested in me.

But oh, the horror I faced today! The danger! Hidden behind the cut, so as not to make you faint.
( teh horror )

Also, I wish Tadpole would realize that she is a girl and thus comes unequipped with any aiming device. I wish she wouldn't gasp delightedly and stand up while peeing, thus spraying Papy's shoes. And I wish I could keep my big mouth shut, because yelling "SIT DOWN, TADPOLE" only startled her into abruptly plunking her plump bum onto the potty again, and dunking the back of her dress in the process. *sighs tiredly*

Heee!

( look at my brand-new cell-phone )

Also, I just solved a mystery.

Tadpole came over while I was having dinner and demanded: "Mommy! Sit down on the bum!" Not being in the habit of doing handstands while I eat, as I cannot handle a fork and knife with my feet, the request took me by surprise. So I waited for an explanation, and she gave it to me - which in itself is rare enough to be mentioned.

The bum, my friends, the bum. Is the couch in the living-room. So much for anatomy. :D