(no subject)

[la_rainette]

Today is a bright, sunny day. I am talking about ANIMALS with my grade 2 kids, and as usual, they're fascinated and full of questions.

Kid a: The elephant is the BIGGESTEST animal!
rainette: well, actually, the blue whale is a lot bigger.
Kid a *her eyes full of wonders and question marks*: really??? It's biggerer than an elephant???
rainette: yep. It can weigh as much as 40 elephants, actually. And you know what?
Kids *move forward with big eyes*
Kid a *in a small voice*: what?
rainette: the blue whale is the biggest creature that EVER lived on our planet! *grins winningly*
Kid b *shakes head*: nope, uhuh, that's GOD
Kid a: oh yeah, God is the biggerest of all *nods in energetic approval*
Kid b: the only thing I don't get is, if there is only one God, how can he be everywhere at the same time?
Kids *look at rainette with big, shining, hopeful eyes*
rainette: ...

Hello, my name is rainette and I am Theologically Challenged. This tends to be a problem at my seriously Catholic school sometimes.

I am really good at teaching sciences though.

Comments

[florahart]

God, being a deity, is non-corporeal, which means God is not an animal; therefore, the blue whale is still the biggest animal.

*dusts hands*

[la_rainette]

That's PERFECT. PERFECT. My only problem with this is the TWELVE HANDS shooting up in the air to ask questions like "what's a deity?", "What does corporeal mean?", "what do you mean God doesn't have a body?" ET FUCKING CETERA. :D (I'm kidding, they totally crack me up. 90 % of the time, I really enjoy my job. The remaining 10% I spend in Useless Meetings).

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

The way I answered this question when I taught Sunday School, "God is like the air... air is only "one thing" but it is everywhere. God is not a person like you or me, that is how God can be everywhere all at once."

They were satisfied and I left the deeper theological lessons for other people. :-)

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

Except in vacuumed containers and outer space!

I've always thought of it as physical plane and spiritual plane not occupying the same space. Kinda like how God-time =/= human-time.

I'm not sure where I got that idea. Probably from fiction (Fae realms!).

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Oh, I always find something to answer, it's more, once they've sidetracked you it's really hard to get them to go back to Blue Whales, you know? :D

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

Is the blue whale bigger than the kraken? Or are krakens fictional?

*is serious*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Depends on the movie? :D

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Blue whales are BIG. Krakens don't really exist, so... I suppose their size pretty much depends on the movie. :D

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

I try not to think too much about the Deep Mysteries of the Ocean. I get periodic dreams of weird gigantic fishes as it is.

Even if blue whale > kraken, krakens have multiple arms and a whale only has its tail... Kraken would probably win.

/stops spiraling descent into madness ridiculosity

[plantmom.livejournal.com]

I am glad you're good at teaching sciences there. A bit of balance can come in handy.

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. :D

It's ... a fun job, actually. Your days never quite go where you expected them, but it's still fun,

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Well, he's God. Like every superhero and wizard and anything cool you can imagine all rolled into one - even better at the everywhere at once thing than Santa!

Though you could point out that God doesn't live and hasn't lived on the planet. Not even in a really big mansion.. with hot and cold running cherubs and *everything*

Yeah, I think I wouldn't be popular with that one, though it does sort of sum up the Christian god quite a lot.

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! :D

And also OH SHIT SANTA. We need to write to Santa. *headdesks*

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

You've a while to go yet its only November, even if the shops and tv ads would like us all to thinkg ITLL BE CHRISTMAS TOMORROW!! OMGOMG SPENDSPENDSPEND...

/grouch

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Ah, see, this is my real problem: THE FOLLOWUP QUESTIONS. They keep comin'! And alas, I am not allowed to run away.

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

"God is so big that he isn't even really big anymore. He's so big that big doesn't even mean big anymore."

LOL!