My Moving Moving Story, by La Rainette

[la_rainette]

You know, moving is a lot like childbirth: If you remembered how much it hurt, you'd never willingly do it again. (just kidding, mischief_wa. Actually, I would say that childbirth is less painful than moving. Or at least, much quicker.)

Now, thinking that a house looks much bigger once everything is packed and ready to go is a common misconception. The truth is, it looks much smaller, since all the bulky pieces of furniture are still firmly in place, only they're empty and you have to navigate through a sea of boxes filled with their former contents.


First, let me start with a few recommendations:

1.- If you plan to share a celebratory bottle of wine once all the boxes are in the new house, knowing the whereabouts of the wine glasses may be of interest, of course, but I strongly suggest you focus your efforts on keeping track of the corkscrew. Sharing a can of Coke is much less nice, trust me.

2.- Whatever you pack at the very last minute is the stuff you cannot do without. Alas, being packed last, when the movers have already arrived and are moving your boxes at the speed of a galloping horse (and judging by the dust flying about, their horses gallop in the desert), it tends to end up in unmarked boxes.

3.- Being loaded in the truck last, these unmarked boxes will be unloaded first. Being unmarked, they will be dumped somewhere in limbo, and then covered by an ENORMOUS AMOUNT of other boxes. Where they are dumped matters little, since it will inevitably be the very bottom of the last Box Mountain you check.


So, imagine the scene. It's Saturday morning, and the kids are still in their pyjamas when the doorbell rings and in come 4 tall, muscled men in T-shirts (it's snowing outside, but they figure they'll soon warm up).

They come in and start moving. Once they have a box (or two, their energy and strength seem boundless) in their arms, they do not see where they are going, which is when the girls jump excitedly into their way. Two accidents involving heavy boxes and tiny toddlers are narrowly avoided. So I dress them and drive them over to the friends' who have offered to take them for the day.

And then it starts for real...


oooo, look, rainette and family are being silly again!

Husband's cell phone *chirps excitedly*
Husband: Hello?
Cheerful Colleague: Oh, hello! It's Cheerful colleague! It thought you might not check your email today!
Husband: I wasn't planning to.
Cheerful Colleague: So! Good thing I'm calling! Monday is formal dress! Suit! White shirt! Tie! The lot!
Husband: ... o_O
rainette *hisses in Husband's ear*: what's up?
Husband: I have to go to work Monday in a suit, a white shirt and a tie.
rainette: ... o_O
Husband: Yeah, me too.


Mover *passes rainette with a heavy box labelled "Toys"*
rainette *is abysmally unable to make intelligent small talk*: ahahahaha, the girls have so many toys.
Mover: well, if we consider that books are toys, you have lots of toys, too.

Ahahahahahahaha. Yes.


Husband *is working on shelves; picks up tiny screw that just landed on his head* Where the hell did that come from?
Shelf *smugly tips over*
Husband *catches shelf*: AAAAAAARGHnowIknow!


Husband *frowns* How come we only have one channel, and the reception is crappy? The cable guy just left!
rainette *hyperventilates* BUT I HAVE TO GET THE GIRLS and they need to be able to watch TV while we start unpacking! Try another cable plug?
Husband *goes bright red* yeah, no, maybe I shoud try this one first. Wasn't plugged in.


Tadpole *upon arrival* That's not the new house!
rainette: yes, it is.
Tadpole: No, it isn't.
rainette: why not?
Tadpole: Been here already
rainette: :D


And the first night:

Cat: MEOW! MEOWOWOWOWOW! MEEEEEOWOWOWOWOW!
Husband: SHUT UP!
CAT: MEEEEEOWWWWWWWWW!
Husband *jumps out of bed*: right.
Cat *is silent*
Tadpole *climbs into rainette's bed and snuggles against rainette*

The next morning:

rainette: what did you do with the cat?
Husband: locked her in the bathroom downstairs.
rainette: but the door doesn't lock properly.
Husband: It doesn't! But I tied a shoelace around the handle, and then I stuck the shoe between two boxes, and the cat couldn't open the door! Call me McGyver!
rainette: Only with less explosions!
Husband: ...
rainette: ...
Husband: I kinda hoped Tadpole would sleep in her bed though.
rainette: well, she did a good job finding us!
Husband: no she didn't. I saw her as I was coming up the stairs after locking the cat in, and she was looking for us, first in the playroom, then in the bathroom... and then I called out to her and showed her the way.
rainette: ...oh.


And now we live in the New House that isn't quite as new as Tadpole had hoped... And Husband is out of town for 2 weeks, so everyone else insists on sleeping in my bed (Froglet, Tadpole and the cat. I considered emigrating to one of the girls' beds, but I know they'd just follow me wherever I go, so.)

BUT! The coffee-maker is up and running, finally. Hallelujah. Now I can face the world again. *yawns* Well, maybe I should catch up on some sleep, first.

Comments

[seshat1.livejournal.com]

Aw. *makes you coffee and helps you unpack a box or two*

It's nearly over! Wah, I am not looking forward to moving uni houses in July. I have to find somewhere too. I may not have a house worth of stuff, but I have enough that it seems infintely more terrifying now! *hides under blankets*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

I tried hiding under a blanket, too, only the movers removed the blanket and then I had to help anyway.

Thank you for the coffee and the help! *hugs*

[seshat1.livejournal.com]

Hee! Nasty movers.

*hugs*

[gypsyjr.livejournal.com]

Tadpole *upon arrival* That's not the new house!
rainette: yes, it is.
Tadpole: No, it isn't.
rainette: why not?
Tadpole: Been here already

Hee. I love kid logic.

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

rainette: remember, Froglet, we're taking all the toys!
Froglet: but where will I sleep?
rainette: ... and the beds, too.
Froglet: but how? My bed's too heavy! I can't carry it!

:D Endless fun, I tell you. They always manage to surprise you.

[metallumai.livejournal.com]

Hi there!

Sam sent me over-- he says I would like you. Sorry to barge in on moving day-- if there's any unpacking I can help with....?

It's not a thing I enjoy-- but I'm lucky. We've been in this house since our oldest son was two--- let me see--- 22 years?

Best of luck finding everything!!

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

diagonally parked in a parallel universe *giggles* I like your sense of humour, mind if I friend you? Please? I've seen you around (at Sam's place), BTW, and I always enjoy your comments.

We've been in this house since our oldest son was two--- let me see--- 22 years?

Ah, see, that is my new ambition for the next 20 years or more: Not Move.

Sounds like a good plan, and a good way to keep our sanity intact.

[l33tminion]

Ah, moving. Good times.

Haven't done that since I was in kindergarten, though, so the memories have faded. As a result, I think it's not that bad :-P (Moving to college doesn't count... that's only moving one room's worth of stuff, not an entire house.)

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Also, when you move to college, you don't have to bring furniture, do you? But it's still a lot of stuff to carry, especially since Books Are Heavy.

And, well, when you're still in Kindergarten, the good thing is, no-one actually expects you to carry boxes. I wish I was still in kindergarten

[l33tminion]

Kindergarten was good times...

[notions.livejournal.com]

Tadpole: Been here already

eeehehehehhehehehehee. She has a point.

Unpacking, I'd think, must be worse than packing, because now you have to figure out where to *put* things. Good luck.

At least the coffee maker is working! Coffee, computer, bed...what else do you need?

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

And then I have to actually remember where I put them, and that takes time, too! (no, really).

Let me see, what else do I need... Right now, I really wish we had window coverings. We have none (and we want to buy nice ones, which is why we haven't done it yet), and we have lots of windows. Once the sunlight hits me straight in the face, I can't sleep anymore. (s'ok, have coffee machine...)

[notions.livejournal.com]

hehehe!

Use sheets.

Seriously. A flat sheet with little clamps, clamp the edges to the window frame around the top.

A king sized sheet with three clamps covers the sliding doors in my parents room, and the upstairs front windows have a green flanel twin sheet, to be used if someone wants to watch a movie without glare on the tv at certain times of the year or day.

[dramawench.livejournal.com]

Well, congratulations for being done and keeping a sense of humor through it all! *squeezes*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs* Well, if I didn't have you guys to listen to my silly stories, it would me much harder, I swear.

[wonapalei.livejournal.com]

Hallelujah, indeed. :D Glad to hear things are going well. Haven't been on LJ much, since I was on holiday from school, and my parents decided to take the family to India for Christmas/New Year's, so internet access was rather sporadic. Am now back at school for the new semester, so I'm catching up as best I can.

Guess what I bought in India? Asterix DVDs! Actually, they call them Video CDs, so they're probably not technically DVDs, but whatever. They're cartoons, and I haven't watched any yet, beyond making sure that they're in a format that my computer can read. But they look entertaining, and there are EIGHT of them! Will let you know how they turn out! *dances in joy, though not much like Snoopy*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

HEY! How was your vacation? (I seem to remember you weren't that enthusiastic about going). It's good to have you back! *hugs*

EEEEEEEEEEE Asterix sort-of-DVDs!!! Let me know what you think of them!

[raesa.livejournal.com]

rainette: but the door doesn't lock properly.
Husband: It doesn't! But I tied a shoelace around the handle, and then I stuck the shoe between two boxes, and the cat couldn't open the door! Call me McGyver!

Poor kitty!

Although... that's definately one way to deal with a stubborn door. ^^

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

The cat is so much more stubborn than the door, I tell you! :D

Well, at 3:00 am, and after a day of strenuous work, one's patience tends to wear off quickly... ;)

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

OMG twice in 3 months! No wonder you prefer living out of boxes, so would I!!!

However. As my new ambition is to very much Not Move for the next 20 years of so (or at least long enough for the girls to be big anough to give us a hand, thank you very much), I guess I'll try and empty as many boxes as I can (which isn't saying much. We did find a few boxes that hadn't been unpacked since the transatlantic move 3 years ago. Eh.)

Thank you *hugs*

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Heeee. This post amused me far too much, with its clever logic!

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Tell your mom we survived, and we learned our lesson: No. More. Moves.

[levi.livejournal.com]

My cat does that all the time, without moving to a new place. He's dumb. Apparently even though I sleep in the same place all the time, he doesn't know where I am and needs to MEOW LOUDLY in the middle of the night until he finds me. Because I am missing, I guess.

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Mine used to do that do. She would MEOW and scratch at the (open) door, until we realized it was basically her way of telling us, "hey, why are you in bed? Let's get up and PLAY!"

And then for we started poking her whenever she slept in the daytime ("Hey, come on, let's PLAY!"), and she kind of got the message, after, uh, a few years (she's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, that pretty cat of mine).

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

*unpacks things for you and puts them away in places where you will NEVER FIND THEM AGAIN*

*maybe just sits down and has coffee with you, instead*

Wah for having to deal with the kids and the boxes and the crazycat all alone. But I'm so glad that you're back online!

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

*unpacks things for you and puts them away in places where you will NEVER FIND THEM AGAIN*

Thank you, m'dear, but I can manage to do exactly that all by myself. :D

I'm glad to be back online, too, I've missed you! How are things going for you?

[terrylj.livejournal.com]

How are things going for you?

Eh. Meh. *eyeroll*