Invasion of the retarded ants

[la_rainette]

We are being invaded by giant retarded ants. How do I know they are giant? Well, they aren't small (but giant might be a big word, actually. OK, then, let's say that they are Medium-Sized Retarded Ants, as Froglet would undoubtedly put it).

How do I know they are retarded?

Well, any ant who ignores the kitchen on the main level and heads for the bathroom on the second floor doesn't score any points for intelligence with me, but this may just be me, you know, French and food-obsessed. Maybe they are Very Clean Ants? Or they have just had rhinoplastic surgery and can't smell anything? Anyways, they terrify my kids and the cat, so I guess I better take care of them.

Crap.

They terrify me, too. Scorpions and snakes I can handle. But Spiders and Ants? Dude. *hides under rock*

In other words, and despite the ant invasion, I am back. *waves* How are you guys?

Comments

[l33tminion]

Well! And it's good to see that you're back!

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks! It's good to be back.

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Please do. I'll answer as well as I can, and whatever I can't answer I'll send back to Headquarters (i.e. Mum). When are you scheduled to move there? Any dates yet?

[briar-cat.livejournal.com]

'Kay, y'know what? I hate scorpions and snakes, but spiders and ants present no problems whatsoever. So as long as you don't mind the fact that I can't squish spiders (instead, they must be scooped up in a container, taken outside, and tossed as far as possible), I think we could set up a deal here. You handle all the scorpions and snakes, I'll manage the spiders and ants. Whaddayasay? ;)

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Deal.

Beware, though: ants and spiders are more common in this part of the world than snakes and scorpions (though we do have some rattlesnakes in Ontario, if I remember well)

[briar-cat.livejournal.com]

I'm in Australia. We have snakes and scorpions here. :D

Welcome back, you were missed greatly!

[dramawench.livejournal.com]

*waves back*
Hello!
I'm sorry about the giant ants. *smites them from afar*
How is the settling in going?

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

:D Hi there Alyssa! We're doing well, actually: most of the remaining unopened boxes have been moved to one designated corner of the house, so they are very easy to ignore ;) :D

[pookerdoos.livejournal.com]

Ants are cute, I like them. :) But the big ones are kind of scary. But I'll take ants over spiders and fruit flies anyday.

Speaking of ants, it should be time for our yearly invasion soon...

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Oh, ours are BIG. And ugly. (But mostly dead now, thankfully.) Fruit flies, ew. I don't like them either.

[pookerdoos.livejournal.com]

They're OK in small amounts, but then they start swarming EVERYWHERE. And they're so freakin' small that you can barely hit them, and they fly around your head in circles while you eat. Drives me crazy. Stupid gnats.

[metallumai.livejournal.com]

What you need is a cat with a formic acid deficiency! Our old grey and black male, may he rest in peace, used to watch every spring when the ants began coming in. He then began to lick, lick, lick the wall until every ant in the trail was gone. He was a great hit with visitors-- nobody had ever seen this before.

Nowadays, we just paint some strong-smelling substance-- oil of peppermint, or chlorine bleach-- over the trails to confuse them

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

*dies* yes, that's exactly what I need. My cat, alas, likes to hunt grasshoppers only, not ants (too many of them, I expect).

I sprayed the buggers, but now I am left with a great number of corpses to dispose of. The girls watched the ants' agony with interest but won't touch them dead or alive ("EW! MOM! GROSS!") so I am left with the dirty work.